Musical Background

Testimony

I was born in Kentucky in America in 1989.  I was born in a Christian home but my father wasn’t a Christian but a dogmatic atheist.  Eventually at the age of three we, the Hayashi family, headed back to Japan and lived in Fukurio city.
I recall those days and how my father was physically abustive to my mother and was scared to death of my father.  I also saw my brother being  really badly physically abused and can still vividly remember it to this day.  I remember how he pulled my brother out of bed and pulled him by the hair and dragged him around the floor, finally throwing him down from the second floor to the first floor.  I can still hear at times, in my nightmares, his crying out, “I am sorry, I’m sorry” and my mother crying “Stop it, please stop it” and my dad, on top of my brother, just continuing to beat him in silence.  I was so afraid I hid myself in a corner of the room, try not to listen and cried while I was praying to God.  Every night, on my knees beside my bed, I prayed to for father, “Jesus, please save my Dad”.

I remember going to school and feeling major loneliness as I wasn’t able to speak Japanese and was the only Christian in the school.  I was laughed at, mocked, and was mad fun of.   I began feeling ashamed of being a Christian and began to hide my faith.  I began to doubt God and then to walk sway from Him. Going back home was a hellish experience, for seeing those I loved beaten by my father was unbearable.  I had no place to go.  My only comfort and escape from the horror was music.  Whenever I was scared, hurt, sad or depressed I ran to music which gave me a temporary peace.  It didn’t last long, but it was simply a place I could run away from reality for a little while.  

At the age of twelve, I began to steal, drink, smoke, and hang  with gang members.  I was a very angry and depressed youth.  I became addicted to cigarettes, alcohol and sex.  I realized that I was trying to fill the emptiness within me with the violence, lust, and all the pleasures of this world.  I knew, down deep inside of my heart, that life simply had to mean more that indulging in fights, gambling, immorality. disrespect and other destructive behaviors.  I always wore this mask on my face and pretended life was all good.  In spite of my emotionless life, I know it’s wasn’t all good.  I always acted tough and strong yet in reality, I was in lived in great fear of  losing my loved ones.  

At the age of fifteen, I decided I couldn’t stand it and longer and would run away .  I failed all my classes and had a GPA of 1.2.  I hated myself, my parents, my school, authorities, all adults and Christians.  Christians were a bunch of self-righteous, hypocritical, judgmental people who always pointed fingers at me like it was my of their business.  I remember telling myself, “I will never be one of them.”  Above all I hated God with all my heart.  I hated preaching that went like this, “Goad is love and has a wonderful plan for your life.”  If God so loved me, why couldn’t he give me a dad who loved me like other Christian dads?  If God so loved me, why couldn’t he protect me on the streets and in the hood?  I was carnal, wicked, ignorant, sin loving and a God hating preacher.  I loved the very things that God hated, and hated the very things that God loved.  With all my might, I boasted of my immorality and wickedness.  I was a mighty sinner.

Then, that September, I was caught by the police. I was put on the blacklist and sent to court.  As I was headed to the police station, I had and encounter with God in the police car.  “Jonathan Hayashi, I have a bigger plan for you, here is not where you belong.”  I simply ignored His voice but then he spoke to me again.  I realized that God is real and I truly wanted to know him.  I decided to leave school, my gang, and the girl I was with and instead began to seek the Lord.  I now became a carpenter without any hope but Jesus.  For the first time in my life, I began to read the Bible.  

At the age of sixteen, for the very first time in my life, I decided to profess Jesus Christ as Lord, to the glory of the Father, that very night, but now I  respect authority and find delight in spending time with children.   I now had dreams and hopes for my future.  I could genuinely smile from the bottom of my heart and was able to love and forgive myself for the past.  I could not only forgive my dad but love him.  My life has never been the same since meeting Jesus.  Everything changed when I met Jesus and He was enough.  

Now I am currently attending Moody Bible Institute studying in the Pastoral Ministry, in the Bachelors program, growing in wisdom and truth, wanting to become a pastor.
In my home I see God’s life and love lived out daily through my mother.  So much of who I am today is in answer to her prayers for me.  She has a special love for the Japanese people and has found a way to serve God by serving them.  Her ministry is to translate the book “Our Daily Bread” into Japanese for the nation.  Her prayers have been transforming the hearts and live of my two brothers and myself.  Recently in  October of 2011 my father has come to know and experience the saving grace of God, and we all praise God for this great milestone.