Musical Background

Testimony

  I was born in Kentucky in America in 1989.  We moved back to Japan when I was three and lived in Fukurio city. My mother was a Christian but my father was a dogmatic atheist. I recall the days of my childhood, how my father physically abused my mother and how I was in great fear of him.  I remember my brother got beaten very badly; my father grad my brother by his hair and pulled him out of bed, dragged him all over the floor, and threw him from the second floor to the first floor.  I can still hear in my nightmares my brother crying out, “I am sorry, I’m sorry,” my mother in tears, “Stop it, please stop it,” and my father, on top of my brother, beating him in silence.  Fear got a hold of my heart. Blinded by torment, I hid myself in the corner, trying not to listen to the agony of my love ones. I covered my ears.  In spite of the situation, I got on my on my knees every night beside my bed and prayed, “Jesus, please save my Dad.”

I hated school.  I had no friends and was lonely as I wasn’t able to speak Japanese and was the only Christian.  I was laughed at, mocked, and made fun of.   I began feeling ashamed of my faith. Going back home was a hellish experience, for seeing those I loved getting beaten by my father was unbearable.  I had no place to go.  My only comfort and escape from the horror was music.  Whenever I was scared, hurt, sad or depressed I ran to music and played the piano which gave me this temporary peace.  It didn’t last long, but it was a place I could run away from reality for a little while.  I began to doubt God and eventually I walked away from Him. 

At age 12, I began to steal, drink, smoke, and spend time with gang members.  I was a very angry, depressed youth.  I became addicted to cigarettes, alcohol and sex.  I realized that I was trying to fill the emptiness within me with all the pleasures of this world.  I knew, down deep inside, that life simply had to have more than indulging in fights, gambling, immorality, disrespect and other destructive behaviors.  I always wore a mask and pretend life was all good.  In spite of my emotionless life, I knew it wasn’t all good.  I acted tough and strong yet in reality, I lived in great fear.  

At age 15, I decided to run away from home.  By this point, I had failed all my classes. I hated myself, my parents, my school, authorities, all adults and Christians.  Christians were a bunch of self-righteous, hypocritical, judgmental people.  I remember telling myself, “I will never become one of them.”  Above all, I hated God with all my heart.  I hated preaching that went like this, “God is love and has a wonderful plan for your life.”  If God so loved me, why couldn’t he give me a dad who loved me?  If God so loved me, why couldn’t he protect me on the streets? I was carnal, wicked, ignorant, sin-loving and God hating.  I loved the very things that God hated, and hated the very things that God loved.  With all my might, I boasted of my immorality and wickedness.  I was a mighty sinner.

Then, in September, I was caught by the police. I was put on the blacklist and sent to court.  As I was heading to the police station, I had an encounter with God in the police car.  “Jonathan Hayashi, I have a bigger plan for you; here is not where you belong.”  I ignored His voice but  he spoke again to me.  I realized then that God is real, and I truly wanted to know Him.  I decided to leave school, my gang, and the girl I was with, and instead I began to seek the Lord.  At age 15, I became a carpenter without any hope but Jesus.  For the first time in my life, I began to read the Bible.  

At age 16, for the very first time in my life, I decided to profess Jesus Christ as Lord, to the glory of the Father. I was no longer a hater of God but a lover of God. I  respect authority and find delight in spending time with children.  I now have dreams and hopes for my future.  I can genuinely smile from the bottom of my heart and was able to love and forgive myself for the past.  I not only forgave my dad but love him.

My life has never been the same since meeting Jesus.  Everything changed when I met Jesus, and He is enough. I am currently attending Moody Bible Institute, studying Pastoral Ministry, in the Bachelors program, growing in wisdom and truth, wanting to become a pastor.

In my home I see God’s life and love lived out daily through my mother.  So much of who I am today is in answer to her prayers for me.  She has a special love for the Japanese people and has found a way to serve God by serving them.  Her ministry is to translate the book “Our Daily Bread” into Japanese for the nation.  Her prayers have been transforming the hearts and live of my two brothers and myself.  In October of 2011, my father came to know and experience the saving grace of God, and we all praise God for this great milestone.